Rabbi Roodyn

Rav Hirsch’s idea is actually a very pertinent and powerful one. When we think we are masters of our own destiny we are liable to get frustrated when we feel thwarted by other or circumstances. This frustration can very easily lead to words and actions that seek to remove the obstructions by all means possible so that we can achieve our goals.

This is perhaps most evident with children who throw a tantrum, kicking and screaming when they don’t get their way (often at the most inconvenient and embarrassing time and place possible!). They had a plan, that plan was thwarted, and now they seek to carry it out at all costs. I once heard Rav Noach Orloweck comment, somewhat tongue in cheek, that a child would rather die than not get their way.

There are times when our inner child speaks very loudly, we are under pressure, we have a deadline, a train to catch, a flight we are about to miss and someone gets in our way. Our natural instinct is to remove that obstacle at all costs. That is because a child sees the world purely from their own vantage point. As that child matures he becomes aware of a world outside of himself and that other people are just as real as he is.

The Gemara famously equates anger with idol worship. Put simply, when we are fuming we will do anything, even idol worship with no regard for the consequences. A deeper insight however, is that one who gets angry and frustrated forgets that Hashem is in control and thinks that he is the master of his own destiny. Failure to accept Hashem as the Master of the world and the Hand that guides every detail of our lives is itself a form of idolatory.

Living with an awareness and consciousness of Hashem ought to bring us to a state of mindfulness. When faced with a challenging situation it is worth pausing to remember that am not the only person in the world, there are others around me who are worthy of care and consideration. And sometimes I need to put their needs and happiness ahead of mine. I am a unique child of Hashem, just like they are, I am not in competition with anyone else, and I certainly don’t need them to lose in order for them to win. In fact, the only person that I need to be better than, is the person that I was yesterday.